*Everything Could be Wrong
The world has been such a shit show since early march that Odell Beckham is going to try to date it. Everything has been terrible and nothing seems to be going right. The momentum towards the world healing started the other day when the Kardashian’s said that there show was not going to happen anymore, Kris is going to find another way to whore out her daughters. Also another huge break through happens today, the NFL is officially back baby! There will not be a weekend without pro or college football until the beginning of next year. OH MY GOD IM GONNA……..
To be honest I don’t care about other NFL teams outside of the AFC south. Above arethe current odds to win the AFC South:
Why the hell are the Indianapolis Colts favorites in the division? There starting quarterback is a weirdo with 53 kid whose team last year went 5-11 and he threw 23 touchdowns and 20 interceptions. Rivers QB rating was the worst of his entire 16 year NFL career. He’s old and he sucks.
Speaking of sucking, let’s talk about the Houston Texans. Remember the playoff game against the Queefs last year when they were up 24-0 in the second quarter and then lost the game by giving up 51 points in two and half quarters? Oh and they lost their best wide receiver and now will Fuller is the go to guy? This dude stays hurt and I’ll take under 8.5 games played for that bum. Watson is awesome but the rest of the team sucks and Bill O’Brien’s boyfriend really likes that hole in his chin if you know what I mean.
We will be skipping the Jacksonville Jagoffs.
Let’s get to the team that is going to be the AFC South Campion this season, the Tennessee Titans. My sweet Hawaiian tan Prince was benched during the Broncos game Week 6 of the 2019 NFL season. The rest of the regular season with Ryan Tannehill as the QB he led us to a 7-3 record and a spot in the playoffs. With an unlikely, but dominating, playoff run the good guy eventually lost to the Queefs, in the AFC Championship game, who are led by some curly haired freak that sounds like Kermit the frog. Last year was a roller coaster but the second half of the year was the most fun I have had watching this damn team since Kerry Collins was QB and we went 13-3.
Who did the Titans lose in the off season?
Delanie Walker, Dion Lewis, Ryan Succop, Logan Ryan, Jack Conklin, and Cameron Wake. That’s all I can think of right now, let me know if I missed anyone.
Who did the Titans resign?
Ryan Tannehill, Derrick Henry, Kamalei Correa, Dennis Kelly, and Anthony Firkser. Let me know if I missed anyone.
Who did the Titans sign?
Vic Beasley, Ty Sambrailo, Stephen Gostkowski, Will Compton, and some guy named Jadeveon Clowney, ever heard of him. Clowney picked us over the Saints so obviously he want to win now and not play for that racist Drew Brees. Let me know if I missed anything.
Titans who are going to be really good this year:
Brett Kern- he has been the best player on our team for the last 11 years. I love him. He ranks 10th all-time on yards per punt at 46.0.
Harold “Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaack” Landry
Jeffery “Big Jeff” Simmons
Ryan Tannehill – he won’t put up Aaron Rogers numbers like last year but he is still going to be good.
Derrick “give him the damn ball” Henry
AJ Brown – is going to be a star and if he can build on what he did in his rookie season he is going to be a large problem.
Wesley Woodyard – he tackles everyone
Adoree Jackson – I’ve shit on the guy a lot but last year he was actually really good in coverage, and with the loss of Logan Ryan he will be asked to play a bigger role, fingers crossed. Also he is a friends I drank beer with him at a bar before, not a big deal.
Jonnu Smith – this dude is awesome and runs like a deer. Even if Titans legend Delaine Walker was back Jonnu might have taken his job anyways.
Shout outs:
Kalif Raymond – good touchdown against the Ravens
DaQuan Jones – dudes just good
Season Prediction: 11-5, loss is AFC Championship Game
I hope this year is fun now that the Titans have tasted a little success I cannot go back to not making the playoffs. I really hope it all works out, I didn’t wait this long for this not to be fun. Everyone have a wonderful day and don’t forget to TITAN THE FUCK UP on Monday.
This Song is Neat:
Joey Puckflap Thoughts 