Happy Monday everyone I hope you are feeling refreshed and wonderful after a long relaxing weekend. If your work made you come in on Friday please quit that job because those people have no hearts. Speaking of jobs, anyone got a good one that I can have. Here’s my resume. I graduated from two community colleges and got a “took enough classes degree” from the University of Memphis. If you got any send them my way. I am a hard worker when people are watching.
It was a good weekend. Thursday around noon I headed to a local watering hole with a few of the guys and we had a wonderful time. Unfortunately I had to bring my work laptop and even did some work while crushing a few brew dogs, that how work should be. That night I slept the couch and then headed out to the golf course Friday morning. Friday was the hottest day in human history. I haven’t been that hot since I saw the movie the Girl Next Door when I was a young lad. Long story short I played terrible but had a wonderful time.
I didn’t have much time to beat myself up over playing so bad because we were playing golf again Saturday morning, and let me tell you I played pretty decent. I mean is an 83 good? I think so. Tips to being good at golf:
- Hit your drives on the fairway
- Hit your second shot on the green
- Two putt for par
- If you have a mulligan, use them on putts and make that putt
- Keep the perfect buzz, once you get it regulate it and stay at the perfect drunk
- Have a “way she goes attitude” and have fun and listen to music
It was a gay ole time on the golf course Saturday. After the round I went home and washed my d and b’s with soap and water. After that I poured myself a rum on the rocks and chilled out watching golf for a minute and then went to a friend’s house where we were set to party for the 4th of July. I will not divulge too much but I threw up in a bush, so you can say we had a good time. Good times, great ribs, and chicks in bikinis. Nothing better.
Funny thing is when we got home that night I attempted to watch Hamilton and could not understand what the heck they were saying because my brain was severely delayed at this point. I did watch The Town Thursday night and that movie is still awesome. I can’t remember if I mentioned this but I also watched Will Ferrell’s new movie the Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga. I don’t know what to say about it but it was not great, but it was a lot better than I thought it would be and is about 50 million times better than that pile of dog shit the Wrong Missy. The Wrong Missy is an embarrassment to the entire movie industry.
Let me try to think about what is happening this week. Nothing really comes to mind but I do think that I’m going to finally get a haircut this week. It’s been over three months since my last haircut and I think this is the longest my hair has ever been. I am trying to go for the Sawyer from Lost look but I am neither attractive or have muscles so it was always an unattainable goal.
I don’t know what it is but I cannot stop listening to the same Oasis songs every day and it is driving me crazy. The songs are absolute bangers and have great hooks. Every weekend when I get home from boozing a different places around town I get on YouTube dot com, cast it to the TV, and watch some Oasis Videos. Don’t look back in anger is not on this list but that is one of the greatest songs of all time. I love Oasis and if Liam Gallagher was not the biggest dick head on the face of the earth they would still be together making fire jams. Here is a list of their songs I listen too when I get home last Friday and Saturday nights:
Whatever
Acquiesce
Little by Little
All Around the World
Live Forever
Songbird
Married with Children
Importance of Being Idle
Alright I am going to go do something else right now as it seems it’s already ten and I have not done anything for work. So let me say, everyone have a wonderful day and I hope all your dreams are coming true.
This Song is Neat:
Joey Puckflap Thoughts 