Well good morning everyone I hope you are doing wonderful. It is a beautiful day so far and the sun just came out. I am very excited about the sun being out because it will give me the opportunity to tan while using my tanning oil that I ordered off amazon dot com. I got until Friday to tan and get in shape so I do not look like a beluga whale this weekend at the lake. I am a lake over beach guy. The beach is fine but it’s always hot and windy and at a lake there in less than a 0.005% chance of getting attacked by a shark or sting ray, I like those odds.
My exercise bike should be in today or tomorrow so I will have about a day and a half to really get in shape. Also yall get the peloton app so I can challenge all of you losers. Also HBO got updated/upgraded and now all the Harry Potters and that dumb ass show friends is on it. I need to look through and see if there is some new cool stuff. Also I think I’m going to buy a new TV.
Currently my favorite baseball team on earth is the brothers and they are in extra inning against the dreaded UniLions. I hoping so much that they win because that would really brighten my day. The ole bag and I did really good the last two days going out and seeing both sets of parents the last few days which has given us both great karma for the terrible shenanigans that will ensue this weekend at the lake.
Norm Macdonald is the funniest person to ever walk the earth. I’ve been on a big norm kick the last few weeks. I have watched all his interviews from Conan and almost every other interview or video on YouTube dot com. The best thing about him is that people don’t get him which makes it all the funnier. Literally everything he says and does is a joke or bit and when people that thinks he is doing something weird they are not getting the joke. He is one on the biggest enigmas because everyone knows him but no one really knows him. He wrote a “memoir” that is incredibly funny but I assure you that little of it is actually based in fact. He doesn’t drive, “drink”, do drugs, or answers his phone.
He has a wonderful bit on his old The Norm MacDonald Podcast in which every week or so he would talk about a horrific serial killer from the past and somehow make a funny about it. The best was the one that focuses on Albert Fish, also known as the Gray Man or the Werewolf of Wysteria, who killed between 3 and 700+ people. He preyed on the mentally handicap and the African American.
Also the moth joke and the dolphin joke are some of the longest rambling meaningless jokes that are absolutely amazing.
Also these Andy Richter joke is unbelievable
Here some one liners that I like.
“What doesn’t kill you makes you incredibly weak.”
“Bill Cosby is my hero, I’m not a big fan of his standup though.”
“My father died, his father died, I assume his father died before him. I come from a long line of death.”
Spirt airlines ranked first in a recent customer service poll. Ranking last, nine eleven airlines. That reminds me of that tragedy.”
This Song is Neat:
Joey Puckflap Thoughts 