Holy hell what a long two weeks. These two weeks have been longer than that black guys dick that everyone has been passing around. Well as this virus continues to take over the world and cripple the economy, I would like to encourage everyone to stay inside and avoid contact with people.
I would like to come out as the first anti-coronavirus blog. To my knowledge I am the first and only blog to come out with this strong of a stance against coronavirus. No need to thank me for my service.
It’s actually pretty simple to stay inside away from people, lets do a little acting scene right now. You say, “hey joey you want to come over, party, do drugs, and bang hot chicks?” I say, “hey how are ya, I wished you had asked me to do this before a pandemic hit the earth. I will not be able to come over to bang chicks and do drugs because I am trying to save the world you selfish prick.” It’s is that simple just stay in your houses.
Here are some things to do while you are self-quarantining in your house. I would recommend masturbating to pass the time. Not just the regular mashing that you do, setup a nice date with yourself. Have a nice dinner and light a candle then head to the couch or bedroom. Not only do you get pleasure out of this act, you also get a little cardio in which is important because gyms are closed. I would also say try and use the other hand no matter how strange that feels, got to give both arms a workout.
Another thing, go to IMDB and go to the top-rated movies of all time and start working your way through the list. Movies are almost the perfect thing to do when you are forced to be self-quarantined with another person because silence is paramount when watching a film.
Also, I would say go on YouTube dot com and watch old concerts of The Beatles, Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan, Elvis, etc. See who your parents and grandparents swooned over when they were young. PS is hot. Oh yeah, I recently found out that my grandma loves Bruce Springsteen and hates Bob Dylan, how about that. Tip: don’t go see old people right now.
Other things you can do, uh go for a walk, I guess. Have some whoopie is different rooms of the house or on a table or something like that. I cannot tell you how important of a resource YouTube dot com is during this time. It has a video of everything you will ever want to see, and even thing that you don’t know you want to see. I watched some pigmies build a swimming pool out of dirt yesterday and it was awesome.
Oh, that new show Dave, about Lil dicky on FX is funny if you want a laugh. Nazi mega weapons, band of brothers, and all WW2 stuff is incredibly interesting.
What’s rarer and hole in one or a double eagle? Please someone tell me. Also, there are some sick houses on the market right now I’m Memphis if anyone wants to buy on for me.
https://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/367-Tara-Ln_Memphis_TN_38111_M86642-10054
https://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/392-Sweetbriar-Rd_Memphis_TN_38120_M76969-58667
https://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/539-S-Yates-Rd_Memphis_TN_38120_M72093-38884
Alright I am boring myself at this point. Everyone out there be careful, wash your hands, and make the most out of a bad time.
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