*Grammar, stats, and/or information could be wrong.
Something incredible happened last night, and it was not that I had a solid brown for the first time in three days. It was that the Tennessee Vols beat the Kentucky Wildcats in Rupp Arena after getting down by 17 points. Big shouts to John Fulkerson who has slowly been turning into Kevin McHale.
To be honest this season has really sucked, especially after watching probably Tennessee’s greatest basketball team ever last year. I mean with terrible losses this season to Georgia, Texas A&M, getting destroyed by Arkansas, and some other losses I can’t think of right now this season has been a flaccid floppy cock. It doesn’t matter, we beat Kentucky and Cal was angry and that’s enough to bring me joy.
Every morning since the last day of high school I have been tired, groggy, and not willing to engage in conversation before I have had two cups of coffee. This morning was different. I was sleeping and rolled over onto my stomach and instantly woke because the pain of rolling on your erect penis will wake you up.
When I tell you I was Randy, I was freaking Randy. I had a damn wet dream last night and opted lay in my own filth rather than change out of my tighty whities because John Fulkerson caused me to Oatmeal Cream Pie.
This dumb b-word Kentucky fan in a meeting I just had used the freaking brain dead excuse all dumb fuck Kentucky fans use which is, “we are a young team”. I’m surprised they let this lady live unassisted. Fuck you, this is what you signed up for, fuck you. You sold your soul to the devil with Cal years ago.
It must suck to get the best recruiting class every year, and when you underachieve every year be able to blame it on the kids being young. Wait, hold on maybe Cal can’t coach? What a crazy idea! Here is a list of players he has had at Kentucky and won nothing with (I think this is right) :
John Wall
Demarcus Cousins
Patrick Pattern
Eric Bledsoe
Nerlens Noel
Willie Cauley-Stein
Julius Randle
James Young
Karl-Anthony Towns
Trey Lyles
Devin Booker
Jamal Murray
Skal Labissiere
Tyler Ulis
De’Aaron Fox
Malik Monk
P. J. Washington
Kevin Knox
Hamidou Diallo
Shai Gilgeous-Alexander
Probably missing a ton more but didn’t want to go through all the talent that Cal has wasted.
Basically, what I’m saying is that last night was awesome and it will probably be the only thing anyone remembers from this Vols season. Oh, I will also remember that Cal is Satan, Big Blue Nation are pieces of garbage and yell racial slurs constantly, and that the demographics of Big Blue Nation are old, fat, and racist.
Everyone have a wonderful day.
Joey Puckflap Thoughts 