*Warning this is not funny and boring.
Since last Friday I traveled through the wonderful states of Tennessee, Mississippi, Alabama, and Georgia. Joey’s Southeaster Wagon tour started early Friday morning when the lady and I dropped off our sweet Baby Randy in beautiful Olive Brach, Mississippi. He was very excited to me boarded for the weekend and was so excited to not seem me for a few days he pissed all over my shoe. So, I was glad to see him go.
From Olive Branch was departed for the equally as wonderful city of Atlanta. This drive took us about 6 hours, and we go to hit rush-hour traffic when we got into the city. On the drive get the amazing opportunity to go through the city of Birmingham, Alabama. Oh, my what a turd of a city that it. It is funny because if you shit on their city, they always go “but we have a top golf.” Cool your city is a turd.
Well we got to Atlanta and my and the ladies family had a great time boozing all Friday night and Saturday. We watched the Big Lebowski and Beverly Hills Cop and had a gay ole time.
My girlfriend’s grandma is a sweet lady and has a heart of gold, but she gives the worst gifts every year. The year all the men of the family got one long sleeve shirt from ole. A few years prior we also all got shirts, but they were all Maui Jim. But I did get some whiskey and other things from the rest of the family, so it all worked out.
So, after festivities concluded on Saturday night, I left girlfriend at her aunts and uncle and went to stay with her cousins. I did this because the cousins house is closer to the airport and Sunday morning, I was flying from Atlanta to Nashville to go to the Titans games with my friends. I feel like I really earned going to the game spending all weekend with her family having meaningless conversations about nothing. So yeah, I earned it.
I woke up at around 5:30 Sunday morning and took a quick 25 minutes Uber to the airport. I don’t know if y’all know anything about the Atlanta airport, but it is hell on earth. According to my calculations there were around 6.9 million people waiting in the security line. My butt hole started to pucker up because I began to worry that I would be missing my flight. Thank goodness I made it through security and grabbed a water, gum, and headphones at store for $70.
I do not regret spending this money because there is no circumstance in which a hungover Joey would want to speak to anyone on a plane especially while I am hungover. It did make a bigtime move and get the Comfort Plus seats which are located right behind first class.
I did notice, the closer you sit to the front of the plane the more you are treated like a human. I’m almost positive I saw on of the stewardesses spirt on somebody walking to the back of the plane. Unfortunately, I was not able to drink on the flight because we were not going to spend enough time in the air, so I knew once I landed, I was going to have to make up for lost time.
I landed, took a uber to where my friends were staying, and the party started. Robo and Country Boy Will (2019 Douche Bag of the Year) were absolute gentlemen and had a Whiskey and Coke waiting for me upon my arrival at 9:15 in the morning. We had a drink then hit the town. We meandered through all the tailgates around Nissan Stadium and then made our way to Broadway. With hit up Kid Rocks bar and boozed then we made our way to the stadium.
This whole thing I just typed is not funny at all. I don’t want to continue typing so I’m just going to stop and I’m defiantly not going to proofread this thing. I’m going to try and get some work done so I can leave work early today. It should be a federal crime for making me work today it really makes me mad. Whatever someone’s got to keep our companies’ stock in the clouds.
This Song is Neat:
Joey Puckflap Thoughts 