Today was a life changing event in my life, I got a 3% raise. Basically what I am saying I am rich and will not be associating with people that are not in my tax bracket any longer. Please if you see me out do not attempt to make eye contact with me unless you make more than $169,000 a year.
This raise has completely changed my outlook on life and the ways I act. I can finally get the 20 cents refills of Code Red Mountain Dew at Danvers and not even think twice about it. My lady and I will no longer have to order the two meals for $20 dollars at the Chili’s. Fucking fajitas (steak not chicken) and Skillet Queso for the both of us. There will no longer be a one drink max on the Presidente Margarita’s.
What I’m saying is that money is no problem anymore and if you are poor please don’t bother talking to me because I do not speak your language anymore. Being rich is so much better that not being rich.
I can finally rent Grown Ups 2 off amazon prime for $3.99, hell I might go crazy and buy the whole god damn movie for $13.99. This is the best thing that ever happened to me. And I cannot reiterate this point enough, if you are poor do not speak to me, don’t talk to me, and defiantly don’t touch me with your dirty poor hand.
I will be going home after work and will stop by a gas station, instead of getting three tall boys of natty daddy’s I will get a six pack of Angry Orchard Rosé Cider. Pumped to see where this new phase of my life takes me. Peace out poor’s. Hello rich people.
Joey Puckflap Thoughts 