Training Day

Many great thinkers have pondered the question what is the greatest feeling in the world.  They have been baffled for centuries by this simple question.  I propose that this greatest feeling in the world is having to do something that you don’t want to do but the plans fall though.  Think of all the shitty dinner parties you had to go to with your significant other and think of not going and doing what you want. 

This morning this exact thing happened.  I had been putting off for weeks a complete day of training the new hire.  For you idiots a complete day is from 8:00 AM to 5:00 PM.  All day.  Too be honest I don’t know if I have enough stuff for the new hire to sit with me and train all day. 

So yesterday I finally bit the bullet and said Thursday morning when I get into work I’m going to teach you everything you need to know about the wonderful world of fixed assets and what I do to keep this corporation running.  I saw a glimmer in the new hires eye, they were excited about this prospect.  I did and do not share the same enthusiasm.

Last night I was dreading coming in this morning and may have had a few scotches to help calm my nerves.  Nevertheless I woke up with my head in a tizzy and my body aching.  I sat down in the shower and thought about ways to get out of this training, even to go as far as wrecking my car.  But I put my big boy pants on and my Tennessee shirt and made the trek to work without pulling my car into oncoming traffic.

I got to work and did something I never do, I took the stairs because in my dumb mind this would take longer hence less time training and more time alone in my cubicle. But then like a gift from the heavens the new hire came waddling over to my desk and said “I will not be able to sit with you today.”  The new hire said more but I had stopped listening after those words. 

I was so Randy I almost torn through the front of my pants.  My whole day is completely wide open now for me to do what I usually do, skate by.  An entire day of twitter, podcasts, Instagram, and the illusion of typing on my keyboard if I sense something important is walking by. Also go cards the play at 4:00 PM so yes I will be watching during work. Bad Boy Alert. And the new Avett Brothers album comes out tomorrow.