I Made the Worst Mistake of my Life

*Grammer

I have made one of the biggest blunders of my life this morning and that’s saying a lot judging by all the foolish things I have done throughout my 26 years of living.  One time I pushed a car cigarette lighter on my thumb, one time I cut myself stabbing a cardboard box with a pocket knife, one time I accidentally order an adult film on my parents tv, and another time I accidentally went over the Memphis bridge while trying to go downtown to my senior prom.  But what I did today unfortunately trumps them all, I forgot my headphones. 

You probably don’t realize how important these are to me to be able to block out all of the ambient noise around me.  I just sat in silence for two minutes and listened to what I heard.  I can hear two separate conversations, one about depreciation schedules and the other about some losers’ fantasy league. Someone on the next isle has a chair that squeaks every time they move, someone has smooth jazz playing on a radio at their desk, and I can smell someone’s essential oil diffuser.

There were four phone rings and one person printing paper at the printer.  Aside.  Do you have any idea how much Konica Minolta BizHub printer costs?  Usually like ten thousand dollars! That’s nuts.  Back to planet earth.  You know what the worst part of this whole not having a headphone thing is?  It’s that I will have all day to think about whatever and not distract myself with podcasts and same 69 songs I have been listening too for 15 years. 

I have to listen to podcasts so when I’m at a dinner party and someone says something wrong I can say, “Well actually the United States interstate system is 48,191 miles long not 50,000 and the official name is the Dwight D. Eisenhower National System of Interstate and Defense Highways.”  Those people are so fun to be around. 

So I have all day to think about the Titans, Vols, all 3 of my fantasy teams losing this week, a 7 team teaser on the NFL which I lost by .5 points, if I’m going to be successful in life, does my dog really love me or am I just the one that feeds him, how long could I live in the wilderness if I had to catch my own food, how many ghost towns were made by the Dwight D. Eisenhower National System of Interstate and Defense Highways act due to the fact a main road was not going through their town, why is wireless charging not available through wifi, why can I not score a goal for my beer league hockey team, how does rain work, should Tennessee have kept butch jones, would I get into butt stuff if I enjoyed a bidet, how gross was sex before running water and showers were readily available, are comedians funny or are the majority of people not funny at all, and is betty white still alive.  You know all the normal everyday things people think of. 

So it’s going to be a tough day none the less, so please send thoughts and prayers and I will have gambling stuff later in the week.

Update:

I found an old wireless pair of headphones that I have had for about five years.  It has been an amazing second half of the work day, I have been practically skipping around the office.  The charge of the headphones has kept exceptionally well and I hope that is makes it through the next few hours.  Wireless charging would be great for headphones.

This song is neat: