*Everything could be wrong.
Last week we went 2-2. That is no problem I am still up 69 and three quarter units. This gravy train is not a sprint it’s a GD marathon. Also we will have a weekly guest pick from my friend Robo who has informed me that he is currently up 1669 units betting on Russian Pro Table Tennis over the summer.
So too last week. Shout out to Miami and Youngstown State for the awesome covers. Oh boy Florida is ass and Feleipe Franks is not good at football. Florida’s D line is a monster though, they had damn 10 sacks.
Unfortunately I fell asleep during the Arizona Hawaii game because I played in a golf tournament over the weekend and shot -2. It was a two man scrabble though and we were five strokes behind the leaders so not the best. But because I fell asleep I missed my guy Khalil Tate getting tackled like Kevin Dyson on the one yard line.
The Hawaii quarterbacks hair was super tight, but he looks like a guy Dog the Bounty Hunter will be dealing with in a few years brah. The week 0 thing is dumb and I hope this is the last year they do it. It won’t because the rating were so good over the weekend. 😦
Let’s get to the money makers of the week 1. These are the most set in stone locks of all time. Do not just bet these games, parley them all together and buy a new house for your girlfriend and your girlfriend’s girlfriend. Let’s get rich.
Toledo +11.5 Vs Kentucky:
In previous writings and twitterings I have made my distain for Kentucky very evident. They lose all their best players to graduation and the draft. They come crashing back down to earth really really hard this year. Big Blue nation can eat a big orange wang.
North Carolina State -16.5 Vs Eastern Carolina:
Allow me to be frank, I know nothing about this game or either teams. But my mind bending algorithm slapped me across the face telling me to take North Carolina State in this game. If the computer speaks I listen. Also Chris Johnson, Titans legend, went to Eastern Carolina so thats cool.
Akron +16.5 Vs Illinois:
This is another algorithm game. My computer had steam coming out of it telling to pick this free money game. Did you know that former bears head coach Lovie Smith has been coaching Illinois since 2016? That’s nucking futs. He has gone 3-9, 2-10, and 4-8 and his three seasons there. Not great. Illinois should not be favored in any game especially by 16.5 points. Go Zips.
Syracuse –17.5 Vs Liberty:
Oh my, this one is straight cash homie. I’m sure the kids are saying that these day. Yall know about Hugh Freeze? He has a wicked case of gonorrhea that has had him in the hospital for a while. Syracuse stomps them bad and by bad I mean real bad. If you have an option to buy this game up to 25 points take it.
Fresno State +13.5 Vs USC:
Clay Helton has run this program into the ground. There is no reason USC should not get every recruit in the nation just based on the mass of attractive women that inhabit the city of Los Angeles. I mean come on. This will be Helton’s last year at USC and it will all start with this game. The last two years Fresno State is 22-6 with two bowl wins.
The Week 1 Who Cares Game of the Week:
Eastern Michigan Vs Coastal Carolina +7
I like directional schools playing each other and state school versus state school playing each other for the Who Cares Game of the Week. This week we got North Carolina Vs South Carolina, Central Arkansas Vs Western Kentucky, Kent State Vs Arizona State, and a few others. All great nominees.
But we are going with Eastern Michigan Vs Coastal Carolina +7. The Coastal part puts it over the top. Coastal covers this spread then I cover your mom with all the money I won this weekend.
Let’s all get rich. Money can’t buy happiness (they say) but it can buy four-wheelers and booze, and that makes me happy. Also GO Vols
Picks:
Toledo +11.5 Vs Kentucky
North Carolina State -16.5 Vs Eastern Carolina
Akron +16.5 Vs Illinois
Syracuse –17.5 Vs Liberty
Fresno State +13.5 Vs USC
Eastern Michigan Vs Coastal Carolina +7
Robo’s Celebrity Pick:
Florida Atlantic Vs Ohio State OVER 63.5
Bonus picks if you want more money:
Georgia Tech +35 Vs Clemson
Texas State Vs Texas A&M -33.5
Duke +35 Vs Alabama
Florida Atlantic Vs Ohio State -27.5
Colorado State +13.5 Vs Colorado
Warwickshire +150 (Cricket)
Joey Puckflap Thoughts 