Mezzanine

*Grammers wrong

My brother and I just moved boxes to a dungeon in the bowels of our corporate headquarters.  I rang up ole Patty Cakes on the telephone and asked if he was busy.  Unlike me he is always busy but allotted me a few minutes to lend a helping hand.  I cannot thank him enough for sparing 11 minutes from his busy day to help me move a few boxes.  What a saint. 

This particular area where we went is called a mezzanine which is a term that I have never heard in the wild until I started working here.  According to google dot com a mezzanine is a “low story between two others in a building, typically between the ground and the first floors.”  Whatever that mean I was in a mezzanine and it was absolutely exhilarating. 

To tell you the truth it does look a little weird. It’s kind of setup like a jail or one of those kid concentration camps they have down by the border, but I can assure you that there are no children in these cages.  Each department has its own caged in area which holds everything from paper to batteries for lawn movers to my crushed hopes and dreams.

The only thing in my department’s cage is papers and Christmas ornaments.  Funny story, one year a guy I work with dress up a fake pig as dead Elvis with pills and needle.  Needless to say they department has not dressed up a pig to date.

So I know everyone is wondering what was in the boxes you were moving?  Good question.  It was papers of all the stores we have constructed in the last three years.  This amounts to more than 400 individual packets with invoices and building plans for each store.  Long story short these box were heavy AF.

In spending time in the mezzanine it would be a perfect place to hide out if something went terribly wrong.  Not only is the hidden within the building it has good cell reception.  Also if you were having an office romance it would be a great place to make a lot of whoopie.  Like a whole lot.  Unfortunately no one has attempted this with me.  Must be my pit stains and sweaty disposition.

The reason for moving these GD boxes it that my department has hired a new person.  Even better a bilingual person.  Off the bat I hate this person and I don’t even know them yet.  They are going to come in a be a freaking try hard speaking two languages and try to out shine me.  Well let me tell you something buddy or lady buddy I’m going to go out of my way to sabotage you career.

But everything is cool.  I’ll make sure to keep you updated what happens on my next mezzanine adventure and the adventure is sabotaging the new hire.