Mem to Nola on a Kayak?

As I sit here pounding the keyboard putting vehicle serial numbers into my computer my mind drifts off and I begin to think about all the other things I would like to be doing right now. 

As insane as this sounds I would literary read a book or watch the bachelor right now.  I have great disdain for both of these forms of entertainment but that shows how much I really don’t want to be doing what I’m doing right now.

I wish I was at a water park that seems cool.  It is strange to go to a water park alone as a grown adult?  What if I wear a long-sleeve sun shirt that should cut down on the stares at me?  I would rather be swimming in the pee infested waters is what I’m saying.  Also the water doesn’t turn blue in any pool or water park I have been in.  Since I was born I have been in every shower, pool, and backyard I have been in.

I would like to get a kayak, cooler of beer, and Pringles and see how long it would take me to float from Memphis to New Orleans.  Does anyone have a decent guess on how long this would take?  Google maps does not have a boat mode of transportation option on their menu. 

So let’s just say the river goes about two miles per hour on average and the distance along the Mississippi River to New Orleans is about 533 miles.  So that would end up taking 266.5 hours which comes out to a little over 11 days of traveling on the river. 

Not going to lie that was a little bit longer than I thought, I’m going to need a bigger cooler.  I wonder how much beer I would have to bring it would probably be better to bring like moonshine or ever clear because those pack one heck of a punch and I could save some room.  I looked into the world’s fastest rivers and there is a lot of debate over that so I will just leave that out.

They even have river boat cruises from Memphis to New Orleans.  You can get a sick room for the trip for only $8,999, what a steal.

It is very strange though, you always hear the advice “do what makes you happy” and “don’t do it for the money” but the majority of people, their job does not make them happy. I do enjoy the free water and coffee though so thanks for that.