Something terrible happened last night. In the following bullet points I will lay outall of the detail we have at this very moment.
- There was a suction cup dildo between 6-9 inchesplaced on the rear end of my friend’s car.
- Upon further inspection (taste and smell) itdoes not seem to have been used, unless it had been placed in the dishwasherfor cleaning.
- The crime most likely happened at BillyHardwicks Bowling Lanes between the hours or 6:30 PM and 9:00 PM. Another place of interest is the entire cityof Germantown.
- The flaccid shaped object was first spotted thismorning and there is no telling how long it had been attached to the rear.
- We do not believe that my friendi has made anyenemies or crossed anyone in the previous few months.
- Judging by these facts we believe this mighthave been a single random attack but we cannot rule out that there is a serialdildoer
Advice for people that may be living under fear of beingdildoed:
- Protect your rears, of your cars
- Keep your two eyes open and vigilant and your brown eyes closed
Joey Puckflap Thoughts 